I felt some-kind of happiness that I sort of always wanted to have… a warmth camaraderie... and most
significantly, the kind of 'inspiration' that makes you wake up every morning with zest and enthusiasm. You
always wanted to impress, so NO JET-LAG.
Sigh, I am and have been longing to have that in order to be on track
again... as I already 'used' up myself, or, either way. And that- was taken away just today, and maybe,
tomorrow.

Can people stop leaving me?

I hate that I am always sleepy..

I am not awake until I am in the airplane

When you know you are wittier than someone, you can win almost anything.

God, give me a million.

 

I want to be a humanoid. There are so many things to catch up, writhe. I got distracted by ‘me-panicking’ consuming them all, especially after working hour, when brain is seating far- around the corner. If I am not concentrating ON ONE, and if I am not being able to organize myself, or, my laptop, I am not going anywhere. . It is such a pain in the arse, to see you guys struttng off your new makeover, you called gizmos! Geez! Gross! 10 minutes to 12:00, a.m, and I have not gone to shower. Less than 6 hours more before the watch starts to buzz... Moreeeeeeningg.

 

 

I wasn’t as crazy as before or as anyone loving someone, writing poems, creating arts. 

 

" I hate travels and explorers"  -Tristes Tropiques

The book - which starts with the arresting sentence: "I hate travels and explorers" - was immediately hailed as a masterpiece and turned the author into one of France's best-known intellectuals.

Claude Levi-Strauss, was widely regarded as a founder of modern anthropology and one of France's foremost thinkers, and as a giant of 20th Century social sciences

Every word is now a dream. You swallow it as you wallow in.

I have lost grip of fair judgment. The accountability of hooking on to something is getting more and
more radical, if not, ridiculously painful.

I don’t know what makes me flipper to extend my search with a countable few
friends, I find good enough to share luck with. Isn’t that expecting some
kind of exchange? Ergh, I wonder what the karmic avenge would hold on to me,
this time.

My world is crippled.
My believe has came into a distortion.
I came to bow to the people who holds righteousness. My weakness continues with its own riddle.

I am cursed.

I hope you won't merely wander around the frontier.

I hope you'll undertake a meticulous yet expansive exploration of that virgin territory.

Here are some tips on how to proceed:
1. Formulate specific questions about what you're looking for.
2. Develop a hypothesis for the experiments you want to carry out.
3. Ignore what doesn't interest you and pounce only on what stirs your fascination.

Halloween costume suggestion: an alien anthropologist visiting Earth from another planet; a time-traveler from the future who's doing a documentary on this historical moment; a religious pilgrim who's keeping a detailed journal.

I am sure 2010 will be great.

I have a very bad night yesterday…

I went to bed at 10pm, but my roommate was still awake... The lights on is fine with me, because I have eye-pads to cover my eyes. But I should buy an ear-plug too, because I could not sleep with the clicking of the laptop. Click, click, click, non-stopping.
Even then, I tried to sleep… and was woken up at 12.30am by the clicking of the laptop, or the lights, or the presence of someone still awake, whatever. I could not sleep anymore, so I went to the kitchen to eat a cookie and well, went to bed, and tried to sleep with the clicking noise… She finally slept at 01:30am… Finally, there was no more noise, but she began to snores…
I kept on turning and tossing just to get things right. The snoring was ever-changing is one thing, but I became really, very restless in bed. After an hour or so, I finally got my position right to sleep, but I was woken up again by the ‘devil’. It suffocates my face and whispered close to my ears with my boyfriend’s voice! Calling my name twice as if, teasing me. And that was so very close, and real that I struggled, because I knew, it was not him. I screamed, so that I could breathe. When I was finally released, there was no more snoring, but me sitting down on the bed with my eyes, wide open. It was 03:00am/

 Working at present, can be so nerve racking at times, as much as I want to appreciate it… Now, less than 3 months to go before the year starts to fall into places, a conundrum in my head, with a huge dose of envisage. I had stop “dreaming”, I had stop blaming, and I had stop making plans.

I am struggling to even search for something NEW and REEFRESHING, which is a symptom of a 'total mind block' or, the other way round. Whatever that comes to that, makes it harder to sense of when or where you have reached the stage of revival. So, there's internet, a cheap and clever scape of finding-outs. When came to think that I doodle on arts and left it in the yard… would it fold up to be somekind of an ambassador job, or something.

Oh, help, I wanna work with an amazing masterplan anytime soon. God will. Amen./

I am kind of trembling preparing my ‘sundae’ back home, to be arms in arms again.
In an hour or two to go, I will surprise him at our apartment lobby sofa, while sticking my nose to a very thick biblical book.. (well, it turns out to be, The Economics..)
It has been one year plus, and yet, we are still, rrrrrrrrrrr……



I'm so happy. Cause today I found my friends.
They're in my head. I'm so ugly. But that's ok.
'Cause so are you. We've broke our mirrors.
Sunday morning. Is everyday for all I care.
And I'm not scared. Light my candles. In a daze cause I've found god.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.....

I'm so lonely. And that's ok. (alt: 'cause today )
I shaved my head. And I'm not sad, and just maybe
I'm to blame for all I've heard. And I'm not sure.
I'm so excited. I can't wait to meet you there.
And I don't care. I'm so horny. But that's ok. My will is good.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.....

I like it. I'm not gonna crack.
I miss you. I'm not gonna crack.
I love you.I'm not gonna crack.
I killed you. I'm not gonna crack.........................................................
 

I am so fucken cute, that I feel a tad too nervous sitting down, having my own time in the crowd. Oh my god, oh my god. Okay, I plug in to some metal music. Again, cute.

Blah.

Friends can be so lovely...

There is a certain philosophy which some witches have that is: to know to will to dare and to be silent. Have the
strength of will to give your all to what you believe is right. Dare to dream and have the confidence in yourself to
achieve it. To be silent means you do not have to prove yourself to others. Actions speak louder than words. A true
witch lets his/her power speaks rather than boasting about it. -being a "charmed one"... we all wish to be 'special', to be able to understand ourselves, and to be able to have talents that few have. It makes you feel happy and
makes it easier to look at ourselves. If you feel bad about yourself and wish to be powerful, read on.

You are a human. No matter what abilities you possess, you are, human. Humans are flawed by their very nature.
But that is what makes us who we are- what you do with what you have, what you decide to improve upon and
which strengths to cultivate in you. Every human is unique with their own lives, experiences, beliefs... So we are all unique, special and loved. No one has the exact same things you do, although some may come very close. There is no need to pretend you are special because you inherently are. Friends thinking you're crazy... You are not crazy. Unless they believe that you are clinically insane and are nervous around you, they probably mean "different". Of
course you are different. Maybe they mean that in the group you are in, your friends are more similar to each other
than to you. You do not need help. If all of you can learn to understand each other, you will realize you have more
in common than you know.

Moving objects with your mind... this is possible. It doesn't mean you aren't normal. This is a talent. -astral
projection... do you mean going a distance in your mind to somewhere else, an out of body experience where you
see yourself, or going to what some people call the "astral plane"? All of these things are possible. Sometimes
we do them instinctively; other times we do it through, will. Relax. It happens. -knowing when something is
happening... this is called Extra Sensory Perception, ESP or having psychic abilities.

Placing thoughts in others heads... are you using telepathy, communication to others through the mind? This is
also good to have. Forming a telepathic bond to someone you would trust with your life is even better. To have
someone know when you need help is invaluable. Being able to see through someone else’s eyes... an excellent asset. Are you understanding their point of view or are you actually seeing what they see? Think of ways this ability may help others. In conclusion, if you follow the philosophy of the witches, if you use what talents you have for the
good of all, you are a witch.

Spells come after, but remember not to throw ethics to the wind. Having a book of shadows and all the tools are
just that: tools. They will not work unless you believe in what you do and the power is in yourself. Tools are
unnecessary, witch is one who knows and abides by the philosophy above and uses spells to achieve their goals after trying everything they can to bring about the desired outcome. A wiccan is one who believes in a god and
goddess, strives to practice their specific beliefs, celebrates the seasons and respects nature (not always
flowers and trees though that is included without say). Unfortunately these terms have been used
interchangeably. Not all witches are wiccans and vice versa.

blah